Guys Conceding Because They’re Not Comfortable? NEVER!
This morning, as I was having my usual leisurely breakfast in front of the early ESPN shows, a most disturbing bit of news came across the “crawl” at the bottom of the screen. (The “crawl”—I could do a whole blog on it—it seems men can multitask when it comes to watching the big screen and reading the words along the bottom of the screen at the same time! They don’t want to miss a thing . . .)
Anyhoo, it seems that two friends and training partners for the Olympics qualifying event of 100-meter track actually TIED in a dead heat for the final spot on the US team for the London Games. Since no rule exists for this situation, the USATF had no protocol in place to resolve such a deadlock, and quickly scrambled to adopt a tiebreaking procedure. The options were a runoff, coin flip, or one athlete conceding the spot to the other.
The big news this morning was that one athlete is ready to concede the final spot!! The athlete, who said Sunday, “In my heart of hearts, I just feel like I earned the third spot. I almost feel like I was kind of robbed.” Then, in a turnabout, the athlete told the agent, “she was uncomfortable with the idea of a runoff,” and “was no longer at peace with the idea.” Whaaaat??!?!
Did I mention these competitors are women? I didn’t need to, did I? Several things gave it away:
1. Conceding the final spot on an Olympic team without a runoff? Are you kidding me? Men would NEVER do that—EVER!
2. Language she used: she “FEELS” she earned the third spot. She almost “FEELS” she was kind of robbed. Feeling has very little to do with athletic results. Feeling is a waste of time, when there is an actual DOING you can do to decide an outcome. And not DOING it? I throw up my hands in despair! Did I march for equal rights for women in the late 60’s for nothing? Did I sign up on every petition Ms. Magazine ever came up with, so young female athletes could base their decisions on FEELINGS??! I think not.
3. Her connection with her friend and training partner probably influenced her decision. Have the numbers of people who have heard me speak not reached a critical mass? Obviously not. “Connection” is what women do—sometimes so well, that we forget the option to disconnect when appropriate. As I say in my speeches and as I wrote in Necessary Roughness: In sports, as well as life, the whistle blows; the connection is broken; objectivity sets in, and oh, yeah, you remember your goal is to WIN!! Not make your decision on the basis of your comfort and your peace with the idea. And NOT concede because you are FRIENDS! And yes, ladies, when there is only ONE SPOT LEFT, your friend and training partner is now your competition. Male lawyers kill each other verbally in morning court; then, their internal whistle blows, and they go to lunch together. Women lawyers? Not so much. The inability to disconnect can be our downfall.
But it doesn’t have to be. Jeneba Tarmoh has until 5 p.m. Pacific time today to make her decision on whether to concede to Allyson Felix, or say “yes” to a runoff. Please, Jeneba, make us proud.