NFL RedZone Scores Big? Not For Me.

Direct TV has a paid channel called NFL RedZone. A recent article in the LA Times says it scores big with football fans—especially fantasy players. That’s probably why I’m not a fan. Last year, I wrote a blog on fantasy football in which I made the point that it takes the “team” out of the game. RedZone hops around every game for seven commercial-free hours on Sunday. It searches out action to show you the point-scoring plays. The show does have a commentator—Scott Hanson—and as the LA Times wrote, he takes “viewers from blowouts to nail-biters and tries to provide a narrative to what otherwise might seem like spending an afternoon in a sports bar next to a drunk guy with a remote control.” Haw! Just what I would never want to do.

“The channel is catnip to hard-core football fans, but particularly those who play fantasy football, because one of RedZone’s gimmicks is to show every touchdown in every game (hence the name RedZone). This season it has even been displaying updated fantasy statistics throughout the day on the bottom on the screen.”

Okay, so we get all the “significant action.” But football is more than just the scoring and the performance. Maybe it’s a girl thing, but I like watching the flow of the game, the process by which people get from one place to the other, and the action of teammates in between the plays. So, here are the top 10 things you miss by watching NFL RedZone:

10. The amiable and almost loving camaraderie on the team bench.

9. Coaches yelling and sweating on the sidelines.

8. A coach coaching a player on the bench.

7. Great plays on the field, like great blocking by big guys.

6. More great plays on the field, like the offensive line protecting their quarterback.

5. MORE great plays, like running backs changing directions on the field, making people miss tackles.

4. On-the-field butt-pats by opposing players.

3. More on-the-field—helmet-pats by teammates and opposing players after a good play.

2. Teams on the field after the game chatting with players from the opposing team.

And the number 1 thing you miss watching RedZone is the post-game speech in the locker room by the coach. Players and coaches are moved to tears sometimes—and we girls really love that.